Issues After Relatives
by CrimsonBobble
Summary: Meet the Relatives Sequel! Has YY RB JS and MM. There's a redneck shrink, and cats galore! Issues are resolved!
1. A few weeks later

This is a sequel to Meet the Relatives. I highly suggest you read that first, but you don't have too, I guess.  
  
This contains Yaoi! Y/Y, R/B, J/S, and now because of Rina Starfire's request.... ::drum roll:: Marik/Malik!!  
  
Enjoy!  
  
Chapter 1: It starts  
  
"Get outta the way you stupid mutt!" Ryou kicked the at dog and hurried on.  
  
"Ryou! Slow down! Please!" Yugi called after he stopped to make sure the dog was okay. "RYOU! You are walking too fast!" Yugi ran to catch up.  
  
The small boy finally caught up to the other as they reached a park bench.  
  
Ryou glared at random objects while Yugi tried to catch his breath.  
  
"Okay," The tri-colored hair bobbled up and down with each pant. Yugi took one deep breath, let it out, and relaxed on the bench next to the slightly taller boy. "Okay, what is this all about? You call me out of work, and make me run after you all the way to the park. Why?"  
  
"Yugi" Ryou looked strangley sad. "I have some important news for you. I know you aren't going to like it, and you might not believe me immediately, but in the end I know we will both be okay. All we have to do is stay strong, and we can get through this together!" Ryou's voice cracked slightly.  
  
"Right.." Yugi said slowly while staring at the white haired boy with big eyes. "What is it again?"  
  
"Yugi," Ryou sniffed and took a deep breath. "Yami is cheating on you"  
  
~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"So what do ya call this truck again?"  
  
"It's a bus I think dad"  
  
"Well how much longer are we going to be on it? I need to take a leak."  
  
"Joe said he would meet us where ever this thing stops."  
  
"We aren't staying at Joe's are we?"  
  
"Well in a way. Joe moved out of the house him and his dad shared a while back."  
  
"OH! Is he one of them Hobos?"  
  
"Naw, he moved in with that Seto guy."  
  
"Oh, so we are staying with them then?"  
  
"You ask too many questions!"  
  
Earl slapped Billy on the back of the head. "Respect your father! I have a bad memory"  
  
"Fine, fine" Billy rubbed the back of his head. "Joe says Seto is rich, and has a nice house."  
  
"Reckon it will be better than the Crocketts?"  
  
"I don't know dad. Lets just try to sleep some."  
  
Billy closed his eyes, and tried to sleep. Unfortunately the bus decided to stop at that moment and the poor boy found himself thrown out of the seat.  
  
"Hee Haw!!!" Earl's donkey like laugh rang out across the bus. "We are here!!"  
  
Billy rubbed his new bruise. "Oh joy."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"NO!"  
  
"what?"  
  
"You stupid.. ARGH!! I.. I.. GET OUT OF THIS HOUSE NOW!!!!" Isis picked up the insane Egyptian and threw him out the door.  
  
"Isis.." Her brother began looking at his poor love rub the spot where his butt connected to the cement. "Was that really necessary?"  
  
"YES!" Isis ran back into the kitchen to make sure the cat was still alive. "Oh you poor baby!!" She grabbed the fluff ball out of the microwave. Marik had tried to experiement with animals and radiation, but the only animal around was the cat, and the only radiation that was around was the microwave.  
  
"Isis you shouldn't care so much about that cat! It's evil I tell you!! It bit me!" Malik screamed.  
  
The older sibling spun around in a blur to face her brother. "What. Did. You. Say?" She said slowly and venomously.  
  
"I..." Malik began but could say anymore as he was picked up by the collar of his shirt and thrown out the door. He landed on top of Marik.  
  
"NEITHER OF YOU CAN COME BACK TILL YOU KNOW HOW TO LOVE KOJO!" Isis slammed the door, leaving the two look-a-likes on the sidewalk.  
  
"Kojo? I thought its name was D.C."  
  
Malik shook his head. "Who cares? Let's go!"  
  
"Go where?"  
  
"Oh, I didn't think about that."  
  
Marik stopped to think a moment. "How about we go to Bakura's? He will join us on a rampage! We can kick all the cats we see, and step on the tails of the ones that look like your sisters!"  
  
"Okay! Let's go now! For real this time!"  
  
And with that the two started off the street talking about ways to torture cats.  
  
TBC  
  
Hehe. It starts! Please review! 


	2. Skippy the Jackolope and more issues

Chapter 2:  
  
"What?" Yugi shook his head with disbelief. "Why. How. What makes you think that?"  
  
Ryou looked at a falling leaf. "You aren't alone on this Yugi. Bakura is cheating on me too."  
  
"Ryou where are you getting these ideas?"  
  
"I heard them."  
  
"Heard who?"  
  
"Yami and Bakura... They were... and I heard them... and Oh the mental pictures I got!!"  
  
"You mean to tell me that Yami, my Yami, is cheating on me with your Bakura?"  
  
"Yes. Its true."  
  
Yugi burst out with laughter. "you aren't serious!"  
  
Ryou growled angrily. "I am! If you don't believe me then come on!" Ryou began to walk away.  
  
"Wait!" The small boy caught up with him. "Where are we going?"  
  
"My house. They were doing it in the kitchen when I came to find you."  
  
"Whatever you say. I think you have finally lost it."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Howdy!" Earl, Billy, Joey, and even Seto exchanged in greetings and hugs.  
  
Earl ran inside a nearby gas station, and appeared a bit later looking much relieved.  
  
"Alrighty then, lets go and put our luggage down somewhere!" Earl bellowed a little too loudly while standing next to Seto. The brunette rubbed his ears while they continued towards the house.  
  
Billy and Earl gathered their luggage which on close examination turned out to be grocery bags full of clothes, and an ice chest full of who knows what.  
  
The small group continued the way to the mansion on foot because it was a really short distance, and Seto didn't fill like hearing about how Earl felt on limos.  
  
"Whoa Set, what did ya let them build that hotel on your property for?" Billy cocked his shaggy mop to one side.  
  
"That would be because it isn't a hotel, that is my house."  
  
Earl whistled, and Joey tried to hurry everyone inside.  
  
A butler opened the door, and servants quickly took the luggage to a couple of the vacant rooms, while Joey led the way threw a maze of hallways and rooms to his favorite living room. Mokaba was already in there waiting.  
  
"Hi!" He bounded over to the newcomers.  
  
"Well, howdy there ya little varmit." Earl shook the small boy's hand so hard his whole body was beginning to flap around.  
  
Billy wiped his hands on his overalls before also shaking the boy's hand, but much softer than his father.  
  
Billy and Earl got a small tour after a few drinks in the living room. They pretty much stood back in awe of everything around them. Once their rooms where reached the two decided to stay there a moment to adjust.  
  
Joey and Seto retreated back to the brunettes room to relax a moment. Things were just starting  
  
~*~*~*  
  
"This way!"  
  
"No! It's this way!"  
  
"It is not!"  
  
"It is too!" "Is not!"  
  
"Is too!"  
  
"Isnot!!"  
  
"Istoo"  
  
"Snot!"  
  
"Stew!"  
  
People walked in a giant circled around the two angry boys. All they had been trying to do was find where Bakura lived, but they had gotten lost. Marik blamed Malik and vicey versy.  
  
"What are you two yelling about?"  
  
"STAY OUT OF THIS RYOU!" The two arguing Egyptains screamed.  
  
"Wait! Ryou? Malik turned back around. "Ryou! You can help!"  
  
Ryou looked vaguely annoyed. "Oh? How so?"  
  
"We are looking for your house."  
  
"Okay then, follow us and you can explain on the way."  
  
Ryou continued walking, and Malik saw an extermly tired looking Yugi following him.  
  
"We were just going to see your yami." Marik jogged to catch up with the three hikaris.  
  
"Oh okay, just make sure you murder him slowly and painfully."  
  
Yugi started to shake his head, while the other two shared confused glances.  
  
"Wwwhhhhyyyyy?"  
  
"None of your business." Ryou shot. "We are here. Who wants to go in first?"  
  
"Ryou! You honestly can't think they are in there doing that!" Yugi spoke for the first time since they had met the others.  
  
"I do! Now who wants to go in first?" The white haired boy sounded like he was going to lose his temper.  
  
"Fine! I know they aren't so I will go!" Yugi stormed up to the house and banged on the door.  
  
"Coming!" Was heard from the inside.  
  
Bakura answered the door looking slightly ruffled up. "Hello Yugi! Come in, come in!" He pulled the boy into the house, then saw the others. "Come on!"  
  
Yami appeared behind him. "It's rude to wait in door ways! Ida says so."  
  
Ryou rolled his eyes at them, and grabbed the two stunned Egyptians pulling them inside.  
  
~*~*  
  
"AAAAHHHH!!"  
  
Seto shot up from his comfortable position as he heard the scream. He recognized it as one of his younger maids.  
  
The brunette quickly rushed out the door with Joey on his heels trying to determine where the source of the sound was.  
  
"Please calm down Ma'am. It isn't real and it can't bite you. I shot it years ago, honestly!"  
  
Earl's pleadings got the lady to shut up, and she ran out the door and down the stairs.  
  
"What's going on here?" Seto demanded once he entered the room.  
  
"The lady was trying to help me unpack and she came across this." Earl held out a stuffed jack-o-lope. "I guess she thought it was real." He turned the animal so that they were head to head. "Imagine that Skippy. She thought you were alive."  
  
The CEO backed out of the room. "I am going to find the maid and calm her down. Joey why don't you help him finish unpacking?"  
  
Seto followed the maid's path out the door but the noises coming from the next room made him stop a moment.  
  
"Look I can take care of that! Hey stop that! Please lady! That's my stuff! A man's stuff is private!!"  
  
Seto peeked inside the room to see Billy chasing around the maid, trying to make her stop unpacking his things. He grinned as he realized the lady could only speak Spanish, and all of Billy's pleas were falling on deaf ears.  
  
~*~*  
  
Marik looked practically unnerved. The other two yamis were fluttering about the house cleaning, cooking, and trying to show off their hosting skills. Malik and Yugi were eating all the sweets and treats brought out, while Ryou poked everything like it might be a bomb or was poisoned.  
  
"Hey Marik come here a moment!" Bakura called from the kitchen.  
  
"Uhh..." The dark was quite unsure of what to do. Normally when he got bored he had a knife fight in the kitchen with the white haired yami, but today wasn't very normal so far. "I am leaving, bye!" And with that the yami ran out the door and disappeared around the corner.  
  
"Lucky Bastard." Ryou growled as he watched Marik run. Yugi rolled his eyes, while Malik stared confused.  
  
Yami and Bakura had disappeared back into the kitchen. Suddenly a few strange noises started to come from the room.  
  
The three Hikaris went to the door separating the kitchen from the hallway.  
  
"Hurry, clean that up!" The voices were whispered and rushed. "No!" A small sound was emitted. A moan? "Don't. Do. That." The words were gasped out.  
  
"Oh my gosh!" Malik whispered. "What are they doing?"  
  
"They are cheating on us! See Yugi I told you!!" Ryou began poking at the other boy.  
  
"Ow Ryou stop! They are not! I am going in there to prove it!" Yugi started towards the door.  
  
"No Yugi! I can't let your innocence be corrupted!" Ryou yanked the boy away from the door, while the other two hikaris rolled their eyes. "Malik you go!"  
  
"What? Why me?"  
  
"Because I said so!" Ryou growled. "Now go!" He pushed the boy through the door.  
  
"NO!! My innocent eyes!" Malik cried. He covered his eyes as he was pushed through the door, tripped, and landed in something wet. "AHH!! Its white!"  
  
The door slammed shut right behind the Egyptian before the other two hikaris could even see inside.  
  
Silence followed.  
  
"Ryou?" Yugi asked timidly.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"What do we do now?"  
  
"I don't know Yugi. I just don't know." Ryou bowed his head in shame. "I know!" He suddenly cried making the other boy fly backwards in astonishment. "Come on!"  
  
The white haired boy dragged the tri-colored hair boy out the door and around the corner.  
  
~*~*  
  
"Malik? What are you doing here?"  
  
TBC  
  
I have to mention Jack-o-lopes at this point. I love the things, and I used to think they were real, and I used to be scared to death of them. In case you don't know what they are because you are some sort of extermly sheltered child, they are rabbits (jackrabbits) with antlers (horns). Please review! 


	3. The Kitchen

Chapter 3:  
  
A little bit before Ryou pushed Malik through the door to meet his doom:  
  
"Bakura! Don't do that!"  
  
"Are you contradicting my idea?"  
  
"Yes! That is too much sugar!"  
  
"Fine, fine. We will do it your way, but please turn off that blender. It sounds like a human moaning."  
  
Yami turned off the blender. Or at least he tried but instead he accidently knocked it over.  
  
"Hurry, clean that up!" Bakura rushed over to help clean.  
  
"No!" Yami cried but somehow Bakura plugged the thing back in. It sounded like a moan before the Pharaoh was able to turn it off.  
  
Bakura looked at the buttons. He was about to turn it back on. Yami dove to stop him. "Don't. Do. That." He gasped out.  
  
Suddenly both stopped wiping up the batter as they heard whispering outside the door. They heard Ryou shouting and suddenly something or someone came flying through the door.  
  
"NO!!! My innocent eyes!" Malik landed in the cake batter. "Ahh!! It's white!"  
  
Yami reacting quickly slammed the door shut so the hikaris couldn't see the mess the batter had made.  
  
"Of course its white." Bakura said while quickly helping the boy to his feet. "What color would you expect vanilla to be?"  
  
"Malik what are you doing here?" Yami demanded once he finished cleaning the mess off the floor. "And why are you standing there gaping? It's rude."  
  
Malik before had seen the way the yamis acted and he had tasted the food but this was the closest he had been to them. Now they were both eyeing him, and he found it rather unnerving.  
  
"uhhh.. Hi?" He tried backing into the counter.  
  
"Hello." They coursed together.  
  
"How are you?" He asked a little more confident.  
  
"Fine, and you?"  
  
"Good." Malik chuckled nervously. "What are you doing in here?"  
  
Bakura looked a little ruffled. "Well if you must know... We are baking a cake."  
  
"That's it?"  
  
"Of course that's it." Yami glared. "What did you expect?"  
  
"What about the moans?"  
  
Yami reached over and plugged in the blender.  
  
"Oh. Well that explains a lot."  
  
"So Malik, I repeat the question. What are you doing in here?" Bakura glared as well.  
  
Malik gulped nervously. "uhhh.. That's kinda a funny story. You see.."  
  
~*~*~*  
  
"BANG!"  
  
Seto looked up from his work.  
  
"BANG, BANG, BANG!!!!!"  
  
'What in the world?' He asked himself as he ran out onto the patio.  
  
There was Billy and Earl, with their shot guns, shooting crows off the power lines. Mokaba was running around asking if he could try. Joey was running around trying to make them stop.  
  
"eh. Howdy there Seto." Billy rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "Whatcha doing?"  
  
"Why he's a coming out here to help us rid the yard of these blasted pets of course!" Earl slapped the CEO's back hard. "Come on there boy, don't be shy. Show your brother here how well you can shoot."  
  
First instinct was to refuse, but the look in Mokaba's eyes made him reconsider and he found himself with a gun in hand.  
  
Take aim, and fire. "BANG!!"  
  
"Wow, big brother! I didn't know you could do that! Please show me, please!"  
  
And that is how Seto found himself teaching his brother how to commit illegal activities, becoming addicted to them, and forgetting all about work.  
  
~*~  
  
"Okay Ryou, you can stop that now."  
  
"Stop what?"  
  
"Stop holding my hand!"  
  
"But you need comfort!"  
  
"I don't! It was all a misunderstanding!"  
  
"You heard them!"  
  
"Well yes but..."  
  
Ryou turned quickly to face the other boy. "Yugi, please don't go into denile. We can get through this together!" Ryou enveloped the smaller boy in a giant, seemingly innocent, hug.  
  
"Get your hand off my butt!"  
  
~*  
  
A little later found the boys turning off the sidewalk and into a small store.  
  
"Where are we?" Yugi asked while peeking around. The shop was dark and dusty. "And please stop looking at me like that!"  
  
"But you look so cute and venerable!"  
  
"Ryou!"  
  
"It's true!"  
  
"Okay look," Yugi rounded on the slightly taller boy. "Even if our yamis are cheating on us, it doesn't mean that we are going to do the same thing!"  
  
"We should share the pain!"  
  
"No! Lets just get whatever we came here for, and go home! This place is creeping me out!"  
  
"You could always hold on to me if you get scared..."  
  
"NO!"  
  
"Fine. We are in a spy shop by the way, so I can prove to you they are cheating without any more sacrifices like.." He paused for a little dramatic. "Dear Malik"  
  
"Lost in the battle for good." Yugi added even though he was sure the other light was just fine.  
  
"Right then." A new voice said causing both boys to jump. It was the shop keeper. "Can I help you with anything?"  
  
"Yes" Ryou answered immediately. "I need to bug a kitchen."  
  
~*~*  
  
"And that my dear boy is how you big brother wrestled a wolf." Billy smiled at the small boy's awe struck look.  
  
"Whoa."  
  
"Yeah, now how would you like to hear about the time he beat up a bunch of evil Crocketts, all in the name of Joey's clothes?"  
  
"Yeah!"  
  
"No!" Seto interrupted story time. He, Joey, and Earl had gone grocery shopping for some barbecue supplies. Billy stayed with Mokaba, because all of the mansion staff had been told they had a free time off until the red necks left.  
  
"Ahh. Come on Seto." Mokaba started and everyone else joined. "please?"  
  
The brunette rolled his eyes. "Fine. Come on you other two, lets set this stuff up."  
  
Seto had started to unpack everything when the phone rang. He sighed as he realized this was going to be a long call. He lost track of time while on the phone, but hurried back to the kitchen. He was surprised to see that there wasn't anyone in the room. He slowly made his way through the house, also checking the room where Billy and Mokaba were last seen. No one anywhere.  
  
He just happened to walk by a front window, and the sight that met him made him do a double take.  
  
TBC  
  
Finally the mystery of the kitchen is somewhat explained. Marik will appear in the next chapter. Ryou is very OOC throughout the entire story, until the end. I am sorry if that makes you mad. Please review! 


	4. The Cookout

Chapter 4:  
  
While looking around Seto just happened to walk by a front window, and the sight that met him made him do a double take.  
  
Earl had set up a huge grill on the front lawn.  
  
Billy and Mokaba were behaving it appeared, and story time still looked like it was going at full blast. Joey looked uncertain, but was setting up a pinic table.  
  
He went outside just in time to hear: "Don't worry yourself there Joe, Seto won't want us messing up his house. He will be happy we are cooking outside."  
  
Seto realized he did have a point, and allowed the cooking to continue.  
  
Things were pretty peaceful for awhile, but sadly things can never last.  
  
"Hello." It was a calm beginning, but as Seto and Joey looked up they knew their lives were probably about to be in danger.  
  
"Uhh. Hi there." Joey said a little uncertainly.  
  
"Whatcha cooking?" The figure was leaning on the front gates.  
  
"Barbecue."  
  
"Can I join you? Everyone else has gone crazy."  
  
"Why of course you can join us young fellow!" Earl cried loudly. Joey and Seto were frozen with shock at the person calling others crazy. "There is plenty of food."  
  
The older country man opened the gate, and shook hands with the boy. "Names Earl. I am a relative of Joey, and have come for a visit in this here city for a while. That one over there is my boy Billy. Come say hello Billy!"  
  
"Nice to meet you. My name is Marik." The blonde Egyptian said this so politely, both Joey and Seto fell back wards. He shook both men's hands, and made his way of to the two lovers who were still frozen.  
  
"You shouldn't act so shocked." Marik joined them, sitting on the grass. "At least if you have seen the Pharaoh and the Tomb Robber."  
  
"You haven't even tried to kill us yet."  
  
Marik shrugged. "just let me lay low here for awhile. I can't go home till I learn to love a cat, and I cant go back to Bakura's till the other yamis start acting normal again."  
  
"Okay." Joey stood up and offered hands to the two still sitting. "Why don't we go get us some food?"  
  
~*~*  
  
"Malik try this and tell me what you think!" Bakura shoved another spoonful of food at the hikari.  
  
The boy groaned, having tried every type of food the two yamis had made for the past couple of hours. His stomach felt like it was about to burst. "It's great." And it was for the boy found that the two darks were excellent cooks. To prove this point he had already unbuttoned his pants and was unable to even stand up.  
  
"you know what Yami?" Bakura turned to the other cook. "I think we should teach him.. He seems to really like the food."  
  
Malik moaned in agreement.  
  
"Stop that noise! You sound like the blender!" Yami scolded before turning back to Bakura. "I agree. Once he can stand, we will teach."  
  
The hikari was eventually able to stand again and lessons began immediately.  
  
"This is a spoon." The white haired spirit said slowly. "say it with me... Spoon."  
  
"Bakura!" Yami turned his scolding powers onto the tomb robber. "He knows what a spoon is!"  
  
"Fine. Lets re-do that cake you ruined then."  
  
"The one I landed in when Ryou pushed me in?"  
  
"Yes. Now what you do first is.."  
  
Malik listen attentively to first Bakura, and then Yami. The white-haired yami taught him mostly about desserts, while the tri-colored hair yami taught him about main courses. The hikari found this all very enjoyable and time began to fly by.  
  
~*  
  
"Should we knock or just enter?"  
  
"I don't know. Its your house!"  
  
Ryou and Yugi were back from the store. Each had several bags of supplies.  
  
After some slight deliberation, Ryou unlocked the door and held it open for the other boy. They sat their things down in the living room just as the kitchen door burst open.  
  
"Yugi! There you are!" Yami swooped down and wrapped the other boy in a hug.  
  
Bakura attempted to do the same, but Ryou fought against him while glaring at Yami and Yugi. Malik appeared covered in cake batter and various other food particles, none looking too innocent.  
  
"Malik! They have corrupted you too!" Ryou cried running to the other hikari. "But at least you are alive!"  
  
Yugi squirmed away from Yami. Both darks were confused by the use of 'corrupted.'  
  
"Uhhh.. Yami, Bakura, why don't you take a break and watch some tv? Ryou and I will 'clean' the kitchen.  
  
"Alright.." Yami began but was cut off by Bakura. "NO! We will clean and you can sit."  
  
"You sit!"  
  
"No! You!"  
  
"You!"  
  
"You!"  
  
Ryou and Bakura began a yelling fest.  
  
While everyone else was distracted, Yugi snuck into the kitchen and set up all the equipment quickly. He paused only to taste a few of the delicious concoctions created.  
  
"Umm. Ryou?" He prompted once he had returned to the living room.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I.. Um.. I forgot something at the store. Lets go!" The small boy grabbed the white-haired hikari and ran out the door and around the corner.  
  
"Good idea Yugi.." Ryou stopped and leaned against a nearby building. "We need to re-group. A member originally thought dead, has actually turned on us. Imagine the torture they put him through."  
  
"While you were arguing I set up the equipment, in case you're curious."  
  
"Yugi, I could kiss you." And Ryou did try before he was shoved off.  
  
"Ryou I promise to at least attempt to kill you if you ever try that again."  
  
"You need comfort!"  
  
"You need counseling!"  
  
"Ouch Yugi, that hurt." The boy clutched at his heard and stumbled a little. "That really hurt. How could you say something like that when we need to stick through this together?"  
  
Yugi rolled his eyes. "You know what Ryou? I will make a deal with you. You don't touch me till we find out what the yamis are really up to, and if they are cheating on us, I will go out with you, okay?"  
  
Ryou thought a moment. "Okay!"  
  
And the two continued down the road to their next idea.  
  
~*~*  
  
"BANG!"  
  
"Wow Kaiba. The kid wasn't lying. You do have excellent aim."  
  
"Thank you. You want to try?"  
  
Marik took the gun. "BANG!"  
  
"Hey! This is a lot of fun!" The yami grinned, and took aim again. "BANG, BANG, BANG!!"  
  
"Don't rapidly fire!" Earl cried but he was ignored.  
  
"BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG!!!!!!"  
  
Loss of ammo made the spirit stop. In the silence that followed everyone heard the approaching sirens.  
  
They slowly turned around in time to see the cops pull into the giant driveway, and get out of the cars with their guns out.  
  
"Alright all of you keep your hands were I can see them, and drop the guns."  
  
"Why Howdy, Officer Tate." Earl grinned rather nervously.  
  
"Oh, so your back in town, eh Earl?"  
  
Nod.  
  
"Well then you know the drill."  
  
"Most certainly officer."  
  
Earl and Billy walked to the car, got handcuffed, and sat in the back.  
  
"Those two got quite the criminal record." The officer laughed. "Oh well, I am afraid I need you to come down to the office Mr. Kaiba, and also the blonde that had the gun."  
  
"Hi officer Tate." Marik shuffled his feet.  
  
Officer Tate looked at him and suddenly began backing up rapidly. "Uhh.. Never mind."  
  
He jumped in his car, and peeled out of the driveway.  
  
"Take care of Skippy for me!!" Earl yelled out of the window as they drove off.  
  
Seto shook his head. "Marik, do I even want to know?"  
  
"I have been in the jail a lot for many things, and they all know me" That was all the explanation they got.  
  
"Right. Well, I suppose we should go get the two out of jail." Joey headed towards the garage with Seto close behind.  
  
"Marik you stay here and watch Mokaba."  
  
Joey looked at him. "Do you know what you just said?"  
  
"Good point." Seto stuck his head out the car window. "Mokaba you stay here and watch Marik!!"  
  
"HEY!!!!" The yami glared, but the other two were gone. He turned to the small boy. "So kid, what do you want to do?"  
  
TBC  
  
I need ideas on what Marik and Mokaba do, and on what Ryou and Yugi do. Hehe... Skippy was mentioned... I love Skippy.. Oh, and Officer Tate. That's officer Heck Tate. Mean anything? Please review! 


	5. Stolen icecream and Twitchy Seto

Chapter 5:  
  
"Lets watch it again!!" Mokaba jumped up to play the tape again.  
  
Marik dashed forward. "NO!" He shouted, and repeated the word again, and again till he got softer. "No, no."  
  
The small boy stared at the yami for a moment. "Okay, then. If you don't want to watch my movie again, what do you want to do?"  
  
"Well, I am a little hungry." Marik admitted.  
  
"Okay!" Mokaba jumped up and ran off. Marik barely heard him yell. "I can cook for us!"  
  
"NOO!!!"  
  
~*~  
  
"Hey Seto! That's Yugi and Ryou! They look like they need a ride. Pull over!"  
  
"I am not about to let them in this vehical Joey! No way!"  
  
"Come on! Please?"  
  
"NO!"  
  
"Fine"  
  
Seto sat back with a smug grin, thinking he had won. Oh how very wrong he was.  
  
"Driver stop, please." Joey spoke to the limo driver.  
  
"What?!? NO! Don't listen to him!"  
  
The driver turned around confused, but complied with Seto.  
  
The blonde "humhped" a couple times before getting another idea. The brunette watched astonished, as Joey opened the car door and began to take a step outside.  
  
"DRIVER STOP!" Seto screamed and the man up front slammed on the brakes. Both boys fell forward, and the open door stopped right at Yugi and Ryou.  
  
~*~  
  
"Okay.. So why do they keep leaving like that?" Yami had been staring out the door for the past hour trying to find out why Yugi had left him.  
  
Malik was trying to comfort both of the yamis.  
  
"Maybe we should just go finish the surprise." Bakura sniffed a little. "Maybe it's best if they aren't here till we finish."  
  
Malik nodded. "It is, and at least you know the two are together somewhere. They are safe. I don't have a clue where Marik is."  
  
"Well, lets get back to the kitchen and finish before they all arrive."  
  
"Good plan"  
  
The yamis wiped their tears away and slowly made their way back to their new domain.  
  
~*~  
  
"Hey Joey! Hi Seto!" Yugi greeted. "What are you doing?"  
  
Seto glared, but Joey answered. "Nothing much. We are going to bail my cousins outta the jail. What are you two up to?"  
  
Ryou glared, but Yugi answered. "Just a little shopping!"  
  
"Come on, Yugi. Lets get going!" Ryou tugged on the small boys arm only to be ignored.  
  
"Lets go Joey!" Seto tried to pull the blonde back into the car.  
  
Both Joey and Yugi sent each other 'please don't leave me' looks. Then they got the same idea.  
  
"How about we travel together?"  
  
All pleas and attempts to get away were ignored as the group of four pulled away in the limo.  
  
~*~  
  
Marik choked as the smoke filled the kitchen. This was okay though, it was one of the few things he knew how to fix. He had definitely set his share of kitchens on fire.  
  
The yami opened a window and grabbed the fire extinguisher, spraying everywhere. Soon the smoke subsided, and the blonde was able to look for Mokaba.  
  
Mokaba was found covered with fire extinguisher foam.  
  
"What did you do!?"  
  
"I'm sorry. I just wanted to cook you something." The small boy said pitifully while tears started to brim in his eyes.  
  
"Wah? No, no. Don't cry. Umm.. How about we go out?"  
  
Mokaba jumped up, estatic. "Okay!"  
  
This idea turned out to be much better. The boy picked an ice cream shop, and the two stuffed themselves full of sundaes.  
  
The waiter came by with the bill.  
  
"uhhh... Mokaba? Who is going to pay the bill?"  
  
"Wha? Well I don't have any money."  
  
"I don't either!"  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"  
  
~*~  
  
The limo finally stopped at the police station. The conversation had been none existence. After a few minutes talking with the cops, Joey walked around to get his cousins.  
  
"Earl? Billy?"  
  
"Who dah? Whar is you?"  
  
"It's me Joey. We have come to pick you up."  
  
"Bout time boy. I's startin to think you wouldn't come."  
  
They got the two out, and made their way back to the limo. They accompanied Yugi and Ryou to their last stop.  
  
"Look," Seto ran his hand through his hair. "I don't know why you wanted to go to a spy shop, but I need to get home. I left Mokaba and Marik alone."  
  
"Oh, so that's where Marik went." Was Ryou's only reply.  
  
Yugi sighed. "We have to come here so I can prove Yami isn't cheating on me to Ryou, so he will leave me alone."  
  
Seto and Joey's eyes were about to pop out of their heads at that statement.  
  
In the silence that followed, the group of four heard some bawling and sniffinling coming from behind them. They turned to see Earl crying and Billy trying to comfort him.  
  
"I was like 'Shet de do' and she jis stood there. I says 'Doan' you hear me?' She jis' stood de same way. En den I slap her side de head, dat sent her asprawlin'. When I came back de door were still open! I wuz mad! I wuz agwyne fer the child but the do slammed behine me and scared me. She never budge! Oh, de po' little thing! She was plumb deef en dumb!!" After Earl's interesting speech he went back to crying.  
  
"What's going on here?" Seto asked as calmly as he could manage.  
  
The tears instantly stopped and both men flushed with embrassment.  
  
"Well, I was jis ahelping my boy here." Earl pointed to Billy. "He wants to be one of them fiscalogit people."  
  
"Psychologist." Billy muttered.  
  
"Right..." Seto turned on his heel to face Ryou and Yugi. The two were now agrueing over some equipment. "Look, I doubt your yamis are cheating on you. I have better equipment that this anyway. Let's go so I can find my brother."  
  
~*~  
  
"okay, so do you want to run or wash dishes?" Marik personally wanted to run, but Seto would murder him if he taught the kid bad habits. Forget it. He'd rather die than wash dishes. "Let's go!"  
  
The yami grabbed the small boy's hand and ran out the door. He didn't stop running till they were back to the mansion. Just in time to, because a limo pulled into the driveway.  
  
Seto stuck his head out of the window. "Marik! Mokaba! Get in the car! No time to explain, just come on!"  
  
The boy and the yami shared a look and a shrug before jumping into the car. They found in to be the emblem of chaos. Earl was crying, Billy comforting, Ryou was yelling a speech about Yugi living in a bubble, Yugi was trying to hide behind Joey, who was hiding behind Seto, who had developed a twitch.  
  
The two just silently sat down and watched the activity around them on the way to Ryou's house. TBC  
  
I don't own The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. That is were Earl's speech came from. One more chapter! Thank you for reading, and please review!! 


	6. Issues Resolved maybe

Chapter 6: Chapter the last. Pure chaos. Ryou's Surprise. Red neck counseling. So many options for a title, so just pick your favorite or make up your own.  
  
"A limo just pulled down the street!" Yami jumped back from the window and ran into the kitchen. "It's probably everyone on their way here!!!"  
  
"okay, okay!!" Malik hurried and finished cleaning. "Almost done here. How about you Bakura?"  
  
"Living room is done, and the table is set! We are ready!" Bakura jumped a little out of excitement.  
  
The three turned off all the lights and hid in the living room, waiting for the others to arrive.  
  
~*~  
  
The limo finally pulled into the driveway. Six got out and headed inside. Seto was frozen to his seat. Joey was trying to comfort him.  
  
"I. Can't. Stand. It. Any. Longer." Each word had a twitch after it.  
  
"Come on. I'm hungry and I heard there is food inside. We can leave right after I eat. Please?"  
  
Joey didn't wait for an answer. He immediately pulled the other out of the car and into the house. The two stepped inside just in time to see Malik, Yami, and Bakura jump up and scream:  
  
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY RYOU!!!!!!!!"  
  
Reactions as follows:  
  
Yugi: "Its your birthday? Why didn't you say something??"  
  
Ryou: Fainted  
  
Joey: Turned around and ran as soon he saw the three jump out.  
  
Seto: Also ran when he saw the three jump out because he feared sharp objects.  
  
Marik: Tried to find a knife to fight back.  
  
Mokaba: Stood cutely confused as everyone else went insane. Eventually helped Marik on his knife hunt.  
  
"Uhh. Billy aren't ya training to deal with people like this?" Earl looked for his son.  
  
Billy had already pulled out the couch, and gotten his pen and paper. "Give me your worst."  
  
Malik went first because he was the closest. "You see there is this cat. The name is Kojo. My sister loves it and I hate it. Marik tried to microwave it, and my sister kicked us out of the house. I can't go home till I learn how to love this cat."  
  
Billy scribbled furiously on his notepad. He tore it off and gave it to the Egyptian.  
  
"NEXT!"  
  
"Wait! I can't read this!"  
  
"It says to go to an animal shelter, and start feeling sorry for the cats. You might want to wait till Marik is done, because he will probably need to do the same."  
  
Said yami went next.  
  
"Well after the radiation experiment, I went to find Bakura. I found him but I didn't cause Bakura wasn't Bakura. And the Pharaoh is going to give me nightmares. They aren't being themselves, therefore I can't be myself."  
  
Billy ripped another piece of paper. "It says to learn how to stand out and stand up. I also suggest the animal shelter."  
  
"Why the animal shelter?"  
  
"Who's the expert here? You or me? Don't question me! Just go!"  
  
Marik nodded mutely and the two Egyptians headed out the door.  
  
"NEXT!!"  
  
Yugi gulped and headed towards the redneck. He sat as far away as possible.  
  
Billy stared at him for a few minutes studying him closely. He scribbled a few notes down. Stared a little more. Looked around at the others. Took a deep breath and looked directly at the now curious small boy. "You are cute."  
  
Chaos started with that simple statement.  
  
"WHAT???" Yami roared and made a lunge towards the make shift psychiatrist.  
  
Ryou beat him to it. "I have dibs first you stupid redneck!!"  
  
Yugi pulled his feet to his chest and curled into a ball. 'This isn't happening.'  
  
Yami heard Ryou's statement and changed directions in mid air. Billy ended up unhurt as Ryou was pinned to the ground.  
  
"Dibs first?" The dark spirit glared down at pale boy beneath him.  
  
"I know the truth about you. You don't deserve Yugi."  
  
Yami's eyes widened. "Why you little..." The eye started glowing in the middle of his forehead.  
  
"NOOO!!! RYOU!!" Bakura tackled Yami off Ryou. "Run Ryou!! I will save you!"  
  
"Get off you stupid Nanny!" The two dark spirits began to wrestle on the floor, throwing various insults.  
  
Ryou stared at the two yamis. Tears began to leak out of his eyes. "KURA!!! You are back!! You saved me!!" Ryou quickly wiped away his tears and turned to the ball of light on the couch. "Yugi help me get them apart before they hurt each other, please."  
  
The small boy nodded mutely, and positioned himself. "Three, two, ONE! GO!" Ryou yelled. Yugi grabbed his yami from behind at the same time Ryou grabbed his.  
  
Both yamis fell backwards onto their hikari's laps. They panted and glared at each other. Ryou snuggled his captor, while Yugi stared in shock.  
  
"WHAT WAS THE MEANING OF THAT!?" Seto demanded, glaring at Billy. "Don't you understand what results hitting on Yugi would have?!"  
  
The redneck shrink sniffed indignantly. "Of course. Don't you realize what I just did?"  
  
"You cured Kura!!" Ryou snuggled his yami.  
  
Billy ruffled the boys hair nodding, but quickly pulled away as Bakura began growling.  
  
"Uhh. That's right! But I did more than just that. I also helped Yugi, Yami, and you. In all I killed four birds with one stone!"  
  
"Why are you talking about killing birds? What did the birds do to you?" Yami tilted his head confused.  
  
"Welcome back Yami. You have missed much." Yugi answered monotone.  
  
"When was I gone?"  
  
"There is much to tell you. Let us leave." Yugi said in the same steady voice as he dragged the spirit out the door.  
  
"Happy Birthday to me! Happy birthday to me! Happy birthday dear m~e! My Kura is Back!!" Ryou sang happily as he pushed Seto, Joey, Billy, Mokaba, and Earl out the door.  
  
The five silently rode back to the mansion. Once home, Mokaba went to his room to go to bed (for it was extremely late!), Earl went to his room to check on Skippy, and the others collapsed in one of the living rooms.  
  
"Geoff me pup!" Seto rumbled as he tried to lay down. Joey didn't seem ready to move, and Seto was too tired to make him.  
  
Billy watched for a moment. "Do you need consoling too?"  
  
Snores were his answer.  
  
~*~  
  
"Bye Joey!!"  
  
"Bye you two! Keep up with the counseling Billy!" Joey waved until he could see the bus no longer. "Well that was fun, eh Seto?"  
  
"Oh yeah sure. We must remember never to do that again."  
  
The two slowly walked aimlessly, enjoying each others presence.  
  
"KITTY!!! COME BACK KITTY!!"  
  
They froze. That voice was familiar.  
  
A cat streaked by, closely followed by none other than Malik.  
  
Not ones to be left out, the blonde and brunette followed.  
  
Malik reached his house, and his sister was standing outside looking rather exasperated. Cats were everywhere around the house.  
  
"Okay, Malik you win! Please get these cats out of here. I will get rid of mine too." Isis seemed to be begging her brother.  
  
"No!!! I love my cats!"  
  
"I don't care! We are never having another pet as long as we live in the same house! Get rid of them all!!"  
  
Malik hung his head and slunk inside where Marik could be seen trying to open a can of tuna.  
  
"Oh, Hello Seto, Joey." Isis smiled. "I don't know what happened to him. One minute he can't stand one cat, and the next he has every cat from the animal following him, and he had a truckload of tuna delivered. After this I suppose I should donate to the animal shelter."  
  
The two nodded mutely and left. They already had too much information.  
  
"MALIK! I SEE YOU TRYING TO HIDE THEM!!"  
  
Seto and Joey took off running.  
  
And you thought you had problems??  
  
THE END  
  
Hehe. It's over. In case I forgot it earlier (which I think I did) Disclaimer: I don't own Yugioh. Billy, Earl, and Skippy are mine, but I am not too attached to them. Thanks for reading. Did you like it? Please review!! 


End file.
